How do I deal with a blank mind? I worry over it. Really, I mean it!
I have always been average in my studies and wished for all the pinpointed questions in exams to get me through. I was so glad to be working in the real world as I believe education is only a foundation but real experience and hands on exposures are the things that enrich a person's mind and life. Occasionally, nightmares of a blank mind when I am faced with exam questions in the exam rooms jerks me up from my deep sleep. My heart will be racing and pumping so fast as if I had been jabbed straight to the veins.
Most of the days I am pretty occupied with the kids activities and my daily chores of an ordinary housewife. But once in a blue moon, I see nothing and want nothing to do with me.... I just cannot do anything and I don't know where I am going..... does this ever happened to anyone? My biggest fear in life is when my brain run out of ideas on writing, cooking, topics and plans for the kids. Is this a sign of early Alzheimer or just a short phase indicating to me to give my brain a break? I don't remember on when did my life get so occupied to the sense that I feel that a non-thinking brain is a senile brain totally!
I am not a fastidious nor meticulous person in every sense but when I decide to do something, conquering its process gives me ultimate satisfaction. The outcome might not necessarily be the one as I thought and yet, I relish the fact that I did my best. And when there is not even an idea to start with, I get all shaky and agitated on my non-ability to think of something. Truly, these are real thoughts of my mind today.