Friday, April 11, 2008

Rambling About Nothing

How do I deal with a blank mind? I worry over it. Really, I mean it!

I have always been average in my studies and wished for all the pinpointed questions in exams to get me through. I was so glad to be working in the real world as I believe education is only a foundation but real experience and hands on exposures are the things that enrich a person's mind and life. Occasionally, nightmares of a blank mind when I am faced with exam questions in the exam rooms jerks me up from my deep sleep. My heart will be racing and pumping so fast as if I had been jabbed straight to the veins.

Most of the days I am pretty occupied with the kids activities and my daily chores of an ordinary housewife. But once in a blue moon, I see nothing and want nothing to do with me.... I just cannot do anything and I don't know where I am going..... does this ever happened to anyone? My biggest fear in life is when my brain run out of ideas on writing, cooking, topics and plans for the kids. Is this a sign of early Alzheimer or just a short phase indicating to me to give my brain a break? I don't remember on when did my life get so occupied to the sense that I feel that a non-thinking brain is a senile brain totally!

I am not a fastidious nor meticulous person in every sense but when I decide to do something, conquering its process gives me ultimate satisfaction. The outcome might not necessarily be the one as I thought and yet, I relish the fact that I did my best. And when there is not even an idea to start with, I get all shaky and agitated on my non-ability to think of something. Truly, these are real thoughts of my mind today.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

You're not getting Alzheimers - Just your brain cells slowly dying. As I reach my mid-30s, I too find that I am forgetting a lot of things - like where I had filed away a very important document! My attention span tends to wander quite often too. So I guess we all need to try a bit harder to focus on what we are doing. I think it's great you're keeping yourself busy, writing this blog and coming up with new recipe/lunch-box ideas. Well done!

Lily Anette said...

Perhaps this blog has kept my brain too busy and it had to shut down to charge up again...

Thanks for the comment. And I thought there was no one looking!!!

Hope that your Anonymity will not be permanent!

pk said...

Sifu once said, "When there's nothing to do, do nothing, when there's sth. to be done, give it everything u've got".

I'm still learning from Sifu...

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